By Andy Malt | Published on Monday 11 May 2020
Pre-lockdown, the thing everyone wanted their house to smell like was vaginas – with Gwyneth Paltrow and Erykah Badu vagina candles and incense to choose from. Now that we’re all forced to stay in our homes all day, the parameters have changed somewhat. The big thing this week is a candle that smells like Harry Styles. Though all of Harry Styles, not specifically his vagina. Beard styles.
Actually, unlike Paltrow and Badu, Styles isn’t marketing this candle as his fragrance. Truth be told, he’s not marketing it at all. And even the maker of the candle – up until now – hasn’t suggested it will make your house smell like it’s haunted by the former One Directioner. The whole logic of this is painfully convoluted.
Alright, so, back in 2017, Styles stylist Lou Teasdale shared a since deleted image of the musician’s dressing table on Instagram before a live show. This gave a clear picture of all the products you would need to basically be exactly the same as Harry Styles. Bad news: his look and smell do not come cheap.
The fragrance he wears is (or certainly was) Tom Ford’s Tobacco Vanille. According to the blurb, it smells “reminiscent of an English gentlemen’s club”. So cigars, brandy and a deep-seated loathing of women, presumably. Not that this is a misogynist scent. No, the marketing nonsense goes on, it’s “a modern and almost heady impression that’s all man – unless worn by a woman”.
Best type of beard
Anyway, you can buy that scent it in a variety of products – the cheapest being beard oil. Beard oil isn’t what Styles fans want though, for various reasons. The main being that, what they really want is for their whole home to smell like Styles has just been wandering around stinking the place up. But using any Tom Ford Tobacco Vanille product to achieve that affect would be expensive. Even the smallest bottle of the fragrance will set you back about £130.
Fans in the US, however, rejoiced recently when they discovered that a $7 candle sold by Target had pretty much exactly the same smell. The subsequent rush to buy Threshold’s Cashmere Vanilla candle has put it out of stock nationwide, according to TMZ.
So, while some Styles fans can now enjoy their house smelling like the star is quietly burning in the corner of their living room, many have been left disappointed. Threshold, realising it’s onto a good thing, is apparently attempting to get the candles back in stock as soon as possible. But now isn’t really the time for making things quickly. So you may just have to wait.
Alternatively, you could try mashing together a load of cigarettes and vanilla essence together in a bucket. I’m sure that’d do it too.