As anyone with eyes will tell you, beards have become a mainstay of everyday life. If the hipster subculture birthed a defining look, it’s now just part of the furniture. In 2016, Men are more confident about trying out different styles to stand out from the tattooed crowd. Following Letterman’s achievement beard (which he praised as a “ real creepy look ”), the new beard styles are saying more than “I think I could catfish people into thinking I’m Brad Pitt with this.” So what do they say about you? New beard look 2016.
Cover of the 11 April edition of the New Yorker. Photograph: The New Yorker
As highlighted in this months New Yorker cover, The Superbeard is long and bushy and, like Gretchen Weiners ’s hair, filled with secrets.
What it says about you: “I’m a serious person whose commitment to my facial hair illustrates how committed I would be in the other aspects of my life. Although – distant alarm bell warning – there’s a rather large chance that I will hit 50, shave it off and fashion the remains into a flower crown. Which I’ll then wear at Burning Man for a 72-hour-long bender-cum-nervous-breakdown.”
Middlesbrough footballer Adam Clayton’s beard says: I’m wacky! I don’t care! Photograph: Dan Mullan/Getty Images
A great optical illusion, the upside-down beard suggests that the beard could sub for the hair and vice versa. In most cases, though, the beard looks like it may have more sassy backchat than the hair.
What it says about you: “I’m wacky! I don’t care! This beard actually might be detachable!” (Jazz hands are optional).
Kit Harington’s beard: an endless cycle of hair. Photograph: David Levene for the Guardian
Like the beautiful circle of life, the monobeard does not end, instead it forms a perfect circle betwixt hair and beard. An endless cycle of hair, and then more hair.
What it says about you: “Because I’ve got curly hair and therefore have been rejected from the hair hall of fame, I missed out on having curtains and a quiff. My revenge? My perfectly coiffured curly beard-and-hair combo. Yes, it involves an immense amount of upkeep and suggests the tendencies of a perfectionist. (I’ve secretly got a glam squad consisting of about 55 members).”
The Bon Iver
Justin Vernon is Bon Iver. ‘Do you mind if I hug you?’
Photograph: Bill Alkofer/Polaris
AKA the wilderness, wild man beard. It’s like improvised jazz: free flowing, meandering round under your chin, basically doing whatever the hell it likes.
Types of goatees beards
What it says about you: “I’m a free spirit. And by that I mean I see my beard as a hirsute art project that’s happening somewhere beneath my cheekbones but my working the washing machine game is weak. Also, do you mind if I hug you?”