For as long as gay men have been making names for themselves in showbiz, there have been fiercely famous beards by their side. A perfect accessory for any self-loathing gay celebrity, the “beard” by definition is “any opposite sex escort taken to an event in an effort to give a homosexual person the appearance of being out on a date with a person of the opposite sex.” Professional beard styles.
Rock Hudson had one, Liberace had two, and there’s no doubt closeted gay Hollywood is chock-full of them cough today. Perhaps the most famous (and certainly the most obvious) modern gay beard is country star Taylor Swift, a beard so highly revered and profitable she’s been considered by some to be Hollywood’s first Power Beard.
But even though she’s dated nearly every male celebrity with a face, not one of Swift’s previous boyfriends has ever come out of the closet. She’s had so many relationships, it’s plausible to believe at least one of them was purely for show, right? So which one is it?
Swift dated JoBro heartthrob Joe Jonas back in 2008, before he was hot. He revealed last year that they never actually had sex, probably because Taylor refused to whip and penetrate him.
Taylor Swift and Taylor Lautner most likely just exchanged makeup tips and boy gossip during their three-month relationship in late 2009. The brief stint ended after she broke up with him, inspiring one of her only “ apology songs.”
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John Mayer is probably, most definitely, not gay. The singer briefly dated Swift in 2009/2010 before he settled down with Katy Perry, who definitely doesn’t play the beard game.
Jake Gyllenhaal allegedly prefers “ tits and ass,” but we’re still secretly hoping his brief 2010 relationship with Swift was a sham. She may not want him anymore, but we certainly do!
Swift took a dip in the Kennedy family gene pool for three months in 2012, when she dated 18-year-old Conner Kennedy. They broke up after three months because they “lived too far apart.”
If One Direction frontman Harry Styles were gay, he’d probably just be openly gay. His one month relationship with Swift last year was likely just for kicks.
And there’s no need to imagine this iron-clad ally as one-half of a same-sex relationship, there are plenty of racy photos that’ll paint a pretty awesome picture for you.
Swift continues to deny allegations that she briefly dated Zac Efron last year. But the world would stop turning if we ceased speculation about Zac’s sexuality, so…
And finally, most importantly, Swift’s most recent sighting with rumored (but definitely “ not “) gay Packers quarterback Aaron Rodgers. They’re not officially dating, and they’re definitely not fooling around, but was their recent night out simply Bearding in action?